Letter to A hidden love

I loved you once so dearly, I love you still so much. I has been so long since I saw you. I crave your smile. It has been so long since I heard your deep laughter or felt your tender touch. It is amazing to think that I lost you, for a pastor's wife's stupid advice. If I could go back in time, I'd find you. I'd never let you go. I have longed for you since High school, I almost had you once or twice. To think we never made love, in all the years I have known you, makes the void even deeper still, the craving for your touch, painful. Do you still think of me? Do you even remember my name? Cus each night on my bed, I think of you, and almost go insane. To be honest, I want you, I have always wanted you so. Want is such an insipid word, for what I feel for you.  In High school, I was oh so shy, but I noticed you all the time, you made me feel so nervous, a virgin for the slaughter if you will. To feel you deep inside me, is a longing I just can't take. I don't think this craving for you, will ever go away. It's a longing only you can fill, with your smile, your touch and your time. I let you slip through my fingers, like water I could not hold. How stupid I was back then. When you smile, or laugh, the world is a better place. it's sad to think I will never know, the tenderness of your touch, the warmth of your smile or the carress of your hand. I caught up with you again, a few years ago. To bad we are both, in other relationships, I pray you are happy. And to be honest I am a little jealous, she's getting something I wanted, want still. And I look at him and think, "DAMN HE ISN'T YOU". There is nothing I can do, save lay here and think. Even then my brain betrays me, it won't let me sleep. So I lay here and think of you, and almost go insane. To be honest I loved you dearly, I love you still so much.